Quote of the week: Mamy Rock

The 69-year old DJ and That's Not My Age regular, who says, 'I'd rather sign a contract with a record company than sign-up for a nursing home,' is playing at my next big birthday party, alright?

What do you think's on Mamy Rock's playlist?




PS Thanks to Advanced Style for drawing my attention to the fabulous photo gallery at www.mamyrock.com.

That's Not My Age

Age is a funny thing. I spent my 39th year worrying about being forty and single, no kids, no house, no pension plan. I'd often pretend to be 35-years old, that was my showbiz age, and for a while I could get away with it. But then forty came along, and so did Mr That's Not My Age and I realised it wasn't such a big deal. I felt exactly the same on my 40th birthday as I did the day before, nothing had changed. So, before I get all sentimental, I'm going to tell you about Bob & Roberta Smith - bear with me, this is just one person - the artist Patrick Brill, 47, a man who doesn't take himself or the ageing process too seriously.




This is his time machine. Which is wind-generated, and like HG Wells' prototype is basically a chair (in the middle), with a rickety wooden windmill built around it. But don't be fooled by its makeshift appearance, like Botox, the machine has the abilty to increase or decrease your age.



Bob & Roberta also plays in two bands, The Apathy Band and The Ken Ardley Playboys, and admits that this in itself can feel a bit like time travel, 'When you're in a band, on-stage, it can make you think you're younger but people in the audience look at you and think you're older.' Mr Brill-Smith insists that the rock 'n' roll side of his work isn't a mid-life crisis, after all he's been playing for years and like The Rolling Stones is going to continue until well after he's started collecting his pension,' I'm quite keen to carry on. When the other band members die off, I'll replace them with younger people - like George our drummer who's thirty.'

So, does the ageing process bother B&R? ' Well, I've always felt a bit middle-aged,' he says, 'I suppose it's all about potential talent. When you're young you have it. When you're in your forties, you don't. You're just talentless and old.'

The rocker with the Dr Who tendencies admits that he's recently started playing the piano and drums so that he can sit down, it takes a lot of energy to maintain this level of creative output but, 'Not as much energy as the audience need to sit through it!'




What age would you use the machine to travel to?


Bob & Roberta's factory outlet is on at Beaconsfield gallery until 21 February - and there's also a café, the Ragged Canteen which sells very nice coffee and cakes.

The fashion bin

It's got to be done. That's Not My Age is throwing the made-up fashion hybrid - the skort, coatigan, murse, mantyhose, jegging, megging and now skegging (even Grazia hadn't heard of the latest skirt/legging combo) into the bin. The hybrid is hardly a new phenomenon but the skegging is a conflation too far. Both the terminology and the item it describes are ugly, unnecessary and belong on the scrapheap. And, murse = man purse, in case you were wondering.


In tandem with refuse collector, Michael Landy's Art Bin, the fashion bin is open for donations until March 14. Please give generously.




Photos:

Wheelie bin: Wheelie Art
Mantyhose: mensfashionfeed.com

Parallel lines

This week a Bella Freud sweater has sent That's Not My Age into a state of sartorial reverie. Oh yes, I love a good stripe. Just see how those parallel lines perk up any outfit and add a smidgen of glamour:



Maybe it's a nautical thing, after all, I did grow up by the seaside...





Though that's not me in the striped bathing suit, and that's not my donkey.



I've always felt an affiliation for Chanel's poor boy chic, which strikes a chord with my working class sensibilities.



And talking of French style, I wouldn't mind looking like Jean Seberg in A Bout de Souffle, as for Jean-Paul Belmondo, well I wouldn't mind....



While we're on the subject of icons, the fabulously cool David Hockney is always worth a mention.



And Bridget Riley has been working wonders with horizontal lines for well over 40 years.



Then it's back to Parisienne chic and Monsieur Jean-Paul Gaultier who knows a thing or two about a man in matelot.



So, in my dreams I'll have the Bella Freud sweater, the Bridget Riley painting and this gorgeous ACNE maxi dress, just not with those shoes. No thank you.



Photos

Bella Freud stripey dog knit from Matches
Gene Tierney from Fashion in Film
Striped bathing suit: George Hoyningen-Huene
Blackpool beach: Norman Parkinson
David Hockney pic courtesy of Mr Peacock Style
Acne dress from Net-a-Porter

All ages?

As you know, That's Not My Age is a champion of fashion for the over-forties - I can happily look at older models with wrinkles, grey hair and bunions, all day long. Except when it comes to the All Ages fashion line-up in The Guardian weekend magazine. I know I've said this before but I think it's worth repeating: the styling on the older models is just plain lazy - in fact, I doubt the stylist has even taken the age-factor into consideration. The grown-up ladies are dressed in the same way as the younger girls, often the clothes don't fit properly - take a look at the black puffa jacket/trousers above - the older models aren't properly groomed and the overall impression is one of tokenism. These images are same-y and uninspiring - and nobody wants to look like they've just escaped from a care home. So, please can someone tell Alan Rusbridger to stop peddling this patronising rubbish.

As Jim Royal would say, all ages, my arse!

Street Style: wrap up warm

Lisa Lyons, 41, loves the layered look, ooh bit of a tongue-twister eh? Shorts, thermal tights and over-knee boots - now there's an idea!



Carole Austin, 39, looks fabulous in her TK Maxx coat, bottle green leather bag and Chanel glasses.



Cutting a dash in his grandma's coat, don't you think Raffaele Azzi, 45, looks like an Italian John Galliano?



Fredrik Hulting, 37, may look like an English toff in his Aquascutum coat, but don't be fooled, he's actually from Stockholm.




Photos: Stephanie Rushton

The fashion bin

Inspired by the artist, Michael Landy, 46, That's Not My Age has decided to create a fashion bin. Landy's Art Bin at the South London Gallery is a 'monument to creative failure' and more like an enormous, clear perspex skip than a regular dustbin:



The London-born conceptual artist has thrown away some of his own work (I'll say no more!), and is asking fellow artists and civilians for donations. Anyone can apply but Landy makes the final decision as to what goes into the container. So far, there's a Damien Hirst skull painting, a Tracey Emin saltire, a golden exercise ball and a rather large blue bottle (not part of the installation and as far as I could tell, unapproved by Mr Landy).

The fashion bin is a home for unwanted gifts, ridiculous items - spring/summer 2010 included, and any fashion faux pas my public would like to get rid of. When asked if he'd like to donate, Michael Landy replied, ' What would I chuck in? Nothing of my own because I'm incredibly fashionable!' So, That's Not My Age is going to start things off with this Alexander McQueen shoe:



What will you throw into the fashion bin?

Photos

Damien Hirst/Art Bin: The Guardian
Zipper bin: Wheelie Art
McQueen shoe: Getty Images